I disappoint myself everyday. The wrist injury haunts me and probably will haunt me forever, but aside from that, I'm always in a state of mediocrity. Nobody can really help me with this. This is just all me.
I probably have my personal fable about how things are not working for me, and that nobody really knows how I feel, etc. It's a stage all people have- their world is doomed, nobody is sadder than them, nobody feels the way they feel. But you know what? Screw psychology. This is true and it just isn't a stage in one's life. When a person seems to be exaggerating about how they feel, and people tend to judge him of his being irrational, of not using his brain, of being an idiot for feeling that way, actually, those people don't know shit. They really don't know how that person is going through, and they can't play God to judge. It's not just the lack of tact in question in here. It's something beyond sensitivity issues. Come on, all of us are unique, and if we haven't undergone what another person is feeling, all the more we could not and should not have a say about the issue.
With that being said, people question me for what I do. They say there's no life as a piano tutor, but come on piano is my life! They say they know I'm really not happy in this field of work, and try to psych me out during my downest moments of my life. Not just because I look lonely more often than not, it means it's because I hate my job, or I hate what I do. I don't get paid much as a piano tutor, but I love what I do! So all other people should just leave me alone. It ticks me off. Even my friends sometimes don't believe me. Do I really need friends?
A piano is all I need. For now.