frustration

I hope that one day I can be known for something. I'm not after the money at all. I just want friends. I want to figure out what life is, and most especially through music. Every time I hear a song, I just want to play it. I just want to teach it. I just want to talk to someone about it. And there. It frustrates me that life is like this.

But anyway! Off to happier things, Christmas is just around the corner! I can't wait to learn new songs. I'm in love with love, I swear! I just really hope that I could share this with the world. Sometimes, I think I'm the most selfish person in the world, that's why I want to change and share everything.

Please help me. Anyone, make me a great piano tutor!

Okay, I'm genuinely happy right now. :)

sadness

It is SO HARD to be a piano tutor sometimes. :(

Fantaisie Impromptu by Chopin

More vids. Better camera. Soon.

This is my YouTube account, but I plan to switch soon when I have a better camera. The audio's quite bad but I hope it's still okay.

Why is that the more "good" I thought I was becoming, the more I was hated?

On a happier note, I'm going to start posting vids in the next few entries. :)

I keep on wondering how come there's just some things in life in which you do something, the more you fail. I mean you can choose not to do anything, then you'd fail too, but if you choose to spend all your time on that thing, then you're actually failing more too. It's a lose-lose situation. I can count all the ways life's unfair, really. Sometimes I choose to, sometimes I don't. But that's a sad reality. Life IS unfair, and there's nothing we can do about it. If life were always fair, would there be excitement anyway?

My philosophy professor told me that it's better to be extremely good or extremely evil. I mean you have to choose one side. You can't be neutral. Well you can, but he's saying that sucks. I guess I want to be extremely good as that's what's expected of everyone, but on the other hand, without evil, life is simply too boring. Why?? As we go along, I'll guess I'll figure it out someday.

My marketing teacher told me sometimes, talent plays a big factor in things. Sometimes, people would practice all day over something, but if they've got no talent, nothing's gonna happen. I'll try to live these words by. I have talent. I've gotta use it. Somehow I have purpose.

I hate this feeling. I constantly think I'm a failure even if majority thinks I'm not. It's all because of one person, one person who thinks otherwise. But that person is someone I could never hate. I don't know why. I don't want to call this love even if I really want to. I don't want to think this is infatuation either. Actually I don't believe in psych, in pheromones, in whatever biological mumbo-jumbo you could conjure up to justify the meaning for feelings. It's just that I'm sure of what I feel, and no matter how sad I really am, I just don't care. It's not like I'll die if the person never changes her mind.

Anyway! Whenever I'm sad, I turn to my keyboard. Yes, my piano is still broken. I plan to save for a new one soon, though. I just love using my fingers to create endless melodies that someday I wish the world would hear. I think some dreams can come true, and this would be one of them. I feel it. If there's one thing I'm known for, it's believing. And as my life continues I'll continue to embrace whatever it is (fate or destiny or whatever) that would come my way. Happiness and sadness- it's always a choice.

Ok, let me get this straight. My real name would be hidden for very reasonable purposes, I swear. But anyway, I'm 21 and I seem to still be a teenager who's messed up with life. Actually, that's the truth. I still am! However, I've blogged since I was 12 years old, so I guess I'm not that embarrassed right now to share what seems to be useless stuff. After all, I'm a piano tutor.

Apart from that life, I'd also like to use this blog to share my most intimate (or maybe not so intimate) thoughts and feelings. I have too much angst in me, but I can't bottle it up inside me forever, thus the blogging. So that's just a short recap of what I'm like!


Anyway, here's a short glimpse of my stupid day today. Sometimes I just can't stand people. I hate the way I think, but I guess nobody can really blame someone for the way they think. Maybe that's just the way it is? Sometimes I'm introduced to people, or I'm immersed into a set of new people, and by the way they talk, to me they're automatically dumbfucks. I swear! I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it that notion that I think I'm better than everybody else? However, I try not to think so badly. It's just that sometimes, I'm with this guy I've known for seven years, and he doesn't do anything but brag. Every chance he gets, he seems to be bragging, and he is! I have no idea if he doesn't know he's bragging with that great brain on him, but it's just so annoying. Sometimes I just want to be invisible to these people, but I can't because I work with them. I don't know if others think this of me, but definitely I don't want them to, so most of the time, silence is my friend. But really, I'm a very friendly guy!

Anyway, that's enough ranting for now. I am a happy person. That's the way it should be!

Ok, random story! I saw my best friend whom I haven't seen in ages!! He's the best guy in the world! Haha just sharing the excitement! :)) Real entry next time.

the most beautiful

After the storm struck here in our country, the Philippines, my home has taken a lot of damage. All cars were totally wrecked and submerged under dirty water. My huge t.v was floating. My pool table was also severely attacked by water. For lack of better verbs to use, may I just say I was crushed at all of this, but not as crushed when I saw my piano. It was a disaster! I didn't mind if all the other things were gone before, but I really hoped the piano didn't receive such pain. Its pain is my pain. The piano is the most beautiful instrument in the world. All other instruments are degenerate forms of the piano.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so they say. I am the beholder, and the piano is my fortress. I hope everyone gets to see this. I hope I'm not just some weird nerd blabbing about this. Everyone has their passion, I keep on saying this. This one's mine. Although it seems that the piano is an inanimate object that can't love me back, I still love it anyway. After all, I am a piano tutor. I'll write more as this blog progresses and as my life goes along.

Secret Piano

I had nothing better to do the other day, so I just searched for piano battles on YouTube. I came across this video by Jay Chou. He was battling with this guy on a Taiwanese movie called Secret. His skills were marvelous! I was somewhat reminded by a younger me. I got a copy of the movie and really appreciated the whole thing.

Story- It was really great. It may be a typical boy-girl development kind of love story but it would still leave girls dancing on their toes! It was all about a girl who met this guy and immediately fell in love with him. Apparently, the girl wasn't from that time period. She was only able to go to the guy's time, about 20 years into the future because of a piano piece that needed to be played in a specific tempo for the actual "time travel" to work. The story was well thought of! Props to Jay Chou for composing, acting, and directing his own movie!

Music- Almost all were originals by Jay Chou. Even the scene in the football field was Jay Chou's composition sung by his girlfriend. The other classical in which Jay Chou and the girl were doing a duet was another of his own work. Absolutely remarkable. Chou's improvisation on the works of Chopin were also nothing but commendable.


That movie was a work of art. "Secret compositions".. I wonder where that could lead? There's music in all of us. From your lousy next door neighbor, to your seemingly non-stylish father. It's around us. We can't live without music. Everyone has their own compositions. Everyone has their passion for music. It's impossible not to have. My dream is to gather most of these untapped, creative minds, and put them together to create one massive point that would rock people's minds! It's not an impossible dream. My love for piano and the love of everyone else for music is a perfect combination.

But to me, there are no secrets! Tell me all about your music now! Also, I can teach you the piano. It's that easy as long as you're interested. Trust me. All you need to do is believe.

Right now, I actually have another blog. It's composed of all my songs/lyrics for a girl who will never love me back. How tough is that? Real tough! But music keeps me sane, and that's what I'll do. That's what all of us should do! It's all about perspective, people. I want everyone to be happy.. not just happy, but happy with music! For life! :)

piano with my grandparents

Nothing makes a day better than making your grandparents happy. My grandparents loves waltzes. The silent tapping of perfect notes in a warm 3/4 beat gives him the power to dance.. and so he does! Waltzes are really perfect for all ages. My grandmother loves to dance too. My music actually makes them more "together" during these times. These small experiences really count, and it makes you wonder the true power of the piano.

humble beginnings at piano

Ever since I was six years old, I always wondered what was making that wonderful sound emanating from my mom's fingers. I was curious, and so I went to her and she said, "I'm playing the piano, honey." Once I tried it, I knew that "this was for me". I started to take lessons, and finally I became a moderately great player for my age. This led to the boost of my interest, and later on, what do you know, I've had recitals here and there! This all led to me being a happy piano tutor.

I became so addicted. Chopin was my god. I wanted to learn all he had. Etudes left and right, waltzes just everywhere! I wouldn't even study sometimes just to play the piano, waking neighbors, annoying even dogs, making my parents worried. However, I can say that this is all worth it! The piano is such a great instrument that nobody ever really tries to respect today. All we hear are those loud bands with their flashy guitars and bad haircuts. But you know what? Piano is the way to go. They say music soothes the savage beast. I say the piano calms the devil himself.

At the age of 15, I became the finale for countless recitals. I thought I was at the top of the world, and I guess that really is the feeling playing the piano. How my fingers seem to glide through the keys in a constant, consistent, ebbing, flowing melody- what a wonderful feeling. If magic exists, this is what it is.

Now that I'm 21, I've been thinking of joining bands. I told them I don't care if I sing or not, just as long as the piano is the main instrument. Most would laugh, jesting my integrity. It's such an appalling truth today- that notion that effects on guitars rule bands. I'm thinking of my own solo band soon. It's not that far to reach, but just as long as I can show the whole world my music, even without making money, I'd be satisfied with my life. That's all that matters!

I don't care how ugly a piano looks, are how old it smells. Being out of key is never a problem. It's the beauty in YOU that's important, that will be able to bring out the artistry in the instrument. Nothing can stop you other than yourself. Just let the music guide you to the stars. It sounds simple, but of course you must still work to reach this state of endless euphoria. I worked hard, but hey, I was happy with what I did. There are no regrets in music, or anything else you love for that matter.

Today, I see a lot of potential in kids, just like me back then. I want to teach them to let their skill not remained untapped, and be brilliant with the piano. It's really simple and fun. Plus I won't bite! Not only kids, but even young adults who still aspire to be brilliant with the instrument! I'm your friend, your guide, your piano tutor.

Piano Tutor is Your Friend

If your happen to want to play an instrument really well, start with the piano. Is it hard? Playing with those soft, ivory, black and white keys? I say that's a no! Playing is easy. All one needs is three things: determination, will and a friend. Who might that friend be? It would be none other than me, your Piano Tutor.